Date Night with the Wait Staff

Needless to say, Joe and i don't treat ourselves to many candel-lit dinners or nights out on the town. We're too budgeted and too romantic on a daily basis in the comfort of our own home to bother with those sorts of things... unless we have a gift card and a free sitter - er, um - grandchild-time-deprived grandparents. Last night, all those stars were aligned, so we braved the winter cold and headed out to dinner after dropping off the two eldest children at Nana and Pop's house (where they were treated to Happy Meals - lucky!).

We were (or at least *I* was) looking forward to an hour of dim-light, yummy (free-ish) food, and uninterupted spousal converation. So we took our seats at a secluded booth and ordered our drinks and platters of buttery seafood. We began discussing refinancing, gardening, the division of labor problems inherent in parish offices, our deep love for eachother, yada-yada-yada. I'm sure you can imagine how divinely romantic it all was. The dialogue would have been quite fluid, the romance blazing, and the night flawlessly dreamy were it not for the wait staff.

Don't get me wrong - they brought our food in record time and provided me with an abyss of cherry Coke, so the food service was great. But they just wouldn't stay away!!! Call me Miss Complainy Pants, but as a restaurant patron, if i wanted to know how cute your 6 year old granddaughter was when she said, "Orock Babama is MY president b/c Iiiiiiii voted for him!" I would have initiated a political conversation. And if I thought it appropriate for you to go into a five-minute monologue about your 5 daughters, their spouses, their ex's, step-grandchildren, out-of-wedlock relations and the fruits thereof, etc., then I .. wait, i DON'T think that's appropriate at all. And why do you? Also, i know my baby is adorable (thanks for noticing, and no, for the seventh time, we don't need a high chair), and I really am sincerely glad you love children, but could you please refrain from having an ongoing googey-goo conversation with him EVERY time you pass by our booth? I'm trying to have a romantic evening with my husband. We won't be dining alone again for at least a year.

Maybe i'm a snob, but i'm constantly critiquing modern customer service, and I think that dominating a dining couple with wait staff family trivia ranks among the capital offenses. So last night, despite our efforts to 'keep the love alive,' we came home having learned more about 3 waitresses than we did about eachother.

Rant complete.